How ranking works
Welcome to the ranking methodology. The points are made up and, in the grand scheme of your one precious life, they do not matter. Were you looking for a real ranking system? There's a whole internet of those. This one ranks websites whose entire premise is a punchline.
- One LOL per browser, per website. No sign-in needed. Yes, we know about incognito. We're looking at you Dave.
- Repeated clicks from the same visitor are collapsed into one, because we've all done that.
- You cannot pay to rank higher. You can pay to be the biggest loser, which is a different, clearly labelled sin.
- Every submission is reviewed by a human. That human is me. Hello.
- The rankings shuffle on a timer. Winning at 4:07pm is a legitimate achievement and you should tell people.
The Heat score
You clicked through and lost eleven minutes. That counts for a lot.
One per browser. The honour system, guarded by a cookie and hope.
Eyeballs on a listing page. Yes, yours counted. Thank you.
New sites get a tiny boost, like a puppy at a dog show.
Re-rolled every 10 minutes by a small gremlin who does not explain himself.
This is the part where the maths stops adding up. Keep scrolling.
Each signal is squashed logarithmically, which is a fancy way of saying one viral Tuesday will not let you squat on the crown forever. Positions genuinely move every 10 minutes. If you refresh and you've dropped three places, that's not a bug, that's the gremlin.
The status ladder
No, there is no level 8. Several people have asked.